Reflexive Verbs & Dative Quirky-Subject Verbs

What "Reflexive" Means

A reflexive verb describes an action where the subject (the doer) and the person affected by the action are the same person. English sometimes marks this explicitly ("I am washing myself") and sometimes drops the reflexive pronoun even though the verb is logically reflexive ("I am relaxing" = "I am relaxing myself").

Key contrast with English: English allows you to omit myself/himself/herself because the meaning stays clear without it. German never allows you to skip the reflexive pronoun — if a verb is reflexive, the pronoun is grammatically required.

There is no reliable way to "guess" which verbs are reflexive in German — the list (roughly 60–70 common reflexive verbs at B1) simply has to be learned. Many overlap with verbs that take fixed prepositions (e.g. sich interessieren für, sich freuen auf, sich beteiligen an). In a dictionary, a reflexive verb is shown with sich attached (sich + verb).

Sometimes-reflexive vs. always-reflexive verbs

Some verbs are reflexive only when there is no other object in the sentence; the same verb behaves as an ordinary transitive verb when a direct object is present. A glossary marks this distinction by whether sich is shown in brackets:

• (sich) treffen → sometimes reflexive — reflexive only if no other object is present.
  • Wir treffen unseren Freund am Abend. → We are meeting our friend in the evening. (Freund = object present → no reflexive pronoun)
  • Wir treffen uns am Abend. → We are meeting (each other) in the evening. (no other object → reflexive uns appears)
• sich verb written without brackets → always reflexive, no exceptions (e.g. sich entscheiden — to decide — must always carry a reflexive pronoun matching the subject, even inside complex sentences).
• Ich rasiere Max. → I shave Max. Even though sich rasieren ("to shave oneself") is normally reflexive, here it is an ordinary transitive verb because the action is done to someone else, not the subject.

Reflexive Pronouns — Accusative & Dative Tables

German has two reflexive pronoun tables. Both are identical except in the ich and du forms.

A2 table — accusative reflexive pronouns

Person	Accusative reflexive
ich	mich
du	dich
er/sie/es	sich
wir	uns
ihr	euch
sie/Sie	sich

• Ich wasche mich. → I am washing (myself).
• Wir waschen uns. → We are washing (ourselves). (The reflexive pronoun always matches the subject's person/number — it is never a fixed, invariable form.)
• Lisa wäscht sich täglich. → Lisa washes herself daily. (Subject is a noun, so the 3rd-person form sich is used.)

B1 table — dative reflexive pronouns

Person	Dative reflexive
ich	mir
du	dir
er/sie/es	sich
wir	uns
ihr	euch
sie/Sie	sich

Only ich → mir and du → dir differ from the accusative table — everything else (sich, uns, euch) stays the same in both tables.

Note: modern German reflexive pronouns exist only in the accusative and dative — there is no genitive reflexive pronoun.

Choosing Accusative vs. Dative

The choice between the two tables depends on whether the sentence already contains a direct object:

• No object in the sentence → use the accusative (A2) table.
  • Ich wasche mich. → I am washing. (no other object → mich)
• A true object is present → use the dative (B1) table, because the object slot is now filled by that noun and the reflexive pronoun shifts to dative.
  • Ich wasche mir die Hände. → I am washing my hands. (die Hände is the object → reflexive pronoun switches to dative mir)

Critical rule: ignore prepositional objects

A prepositional object (preposition + noun, e.g. für Kunst, auf die Antwort, mit einem Freund) does not count as an object for this decision. Mentally delete any prepositional phrase before choosing a table — if the only "object" left is one introduced by a preposition, treat the sentence as having no object at all and use the accusative table.

• Ich interessiere mich für Kunst. → I am interested in art. (für Kunst is prepositional → ignored → mich, not mir)
• Ich freue mich auf die Antwort. → I am looking forward to the answer. (auf die Antwort ignored → mich)
• Er konzentriert sich auf die Arbeit. → He concentrates on the work. (auf die Arbeit ignored → sich, same in both tables for 3rd person, but the logic still applies)
• A sentence with sich kümmern um + Akkusativ ("to take care of") follows the same logic: ignore the um + noun phrase and treat the sentence as basic/accusative.

Summary rule:

Situation	Table to use
No object at all	Accusative (A2)
Only a prepositional object (preposition + noun)	Accusative (A2) — ignore the prepositional phrase
A genuine (non-prepositional) direct object is present	Dative (B1)

The Body-Part Exception

When a reflexive action is performed on your own body (hands, hair, teeth, nails, eyes, face, feet, etc.), two rules combine:

1. Always use the dative (B1) reflexive pronoun, because the body part itself fills the object slot.
2. Always use the definite article (der/die/das), never a possessive pronoun, with the body part — even though English naturally says "my hands," German does not say mir meine Hände.

• ✅ Ich wasche mir die Hände. → I'm washing my hands. (literally "I wash for myself the hands")
• ❌ Ich wasche mir meine Hände. — wrong; never double up the dative reflexive pronoun with a possessive article.
• ✅ Ich kämme mir die Haare. → I'm combing my hair.
• ✅ Ich putze mir die Zähne. → I'm brushing my teeth.
• ✅ Ich schneide mir die Nägel. → I'm cutting my nails.
• ✅ Sie reibt sich die Augen. → She is rubbing her eyes.
• ✅ Sie schneidet sich die Nägel. → She is cutting her nails.
  • ❌ Sie schneidet sich ihre Nägel. — wrong for the same reason.

Reasoning: the dative reflexive pronoun (mir, dir, etc.) already conveys "for/to myself," so adding a possessive article on top would be redundant. German instead pairs the dative reflexive with the plain definite article. This is one of the most common mistakes for English-speaking learners — be especially careful not to import the English possessive ("my hands," "her nails") into German body-part sentences.

A related, more advanced (B2-leaning) construction worth recognizing: Ich lasse mir die Haare schneiden. → I am having my hair cut [by someone else], using lassen + infinitive, since you cannot literally cut your own hair. This causative nuance goes beyond the core B1 rule above but is useful to recognize.

Reflexive Verbs in Konjunktiv II

Reflexive verbs keep their reflexive pronoun even inside Konjunktiv II (hypothetical/wenn) sentences — it is easy to accidentally drop the pronoun while juggling the conjunctive auxiliary (würde/hätte/wäre or a modal verb in K2 form), but the pronoun must still agree with the grammatical subject of its own clause, not default to sich.

• Wenn ich mich entscheiden dürfte, ... → If I were allowed to decide, ... (sich entscheiden is always reflexive; with subject ich, the pronoun must be mich, not the bare sich.)
• Wenn Maria nicht in der Küche kochen müsste, würde sie sich zu Hause auf dem Sofa entspannen. → If Maria didn't have to cook in the kitchen, she would relax at home on the sofa. (sich entspannen, matching subject sie → sich)

General reminder: reflexive verbs always need the reflexive pronoun that matches the grammatical subject of the clause — this rule does not change inside a wenn-clause or when a modal/K2 auxiliary is also present. Apply the same accusative-vs-dative and ignore-prepositional-objects logic from the sections above to decide which pronoun form to use.

Dative Quirky-Subject Verbs

A small set of German verbs reverses the subject/object roles that English speakers expect: the thing or activity being talked about is the grammatical subject (Nominativ), while the person affected is a dative object — opposite to how English phrases the same idea. The most common verbs in this group are gefallen (to please/like), gehören (to belong to), weh tun (to hurt/ache), and (Spaß) machen (to be fun for).

Why this matters: the English subject ("I", "he", "the music pleases...") is not the German grammatical subject with these verbs. Mistranslating the English sentence word-for-word produces a classic, very common B1 error.

English (what you might assume)	German correct form	Literal meaning
I like the dress.	Das Kleid gefällt mir.	The dress pleases me.
❌ Ich gefalle das Kleid.	— wrong —	—
I like the music.	Die Musik gefällt mir.	The music pleases me.
❌ Ich gefalle die Musik.	— wrong —	—
The pen belongs to you.	Der Stift gehört dir.	The pen belongs to you.
My head hurts.	Mein Kopf tut mir weh.	My head does pain to me.
Cooking is fun for Henning.	Kochen macht Henning Spaß.	Cooking makes fun for Henning.

How to identify the subject

Always ask "who or what is doing/being the verb?" — that noun phrase is the Nominativ subject, even if it is not a person. Then check which case the verb assigns to the other noun phrase. A reliable test: a subject can never simultaneously be the object of a preposition or a dative-marked person-slot. If the sentence has a sense of "to/for someone," that someone is dative, not the subject — even when that someone is a named individual.

gefallen — to please / to like

• Das Kleid gefällt dir. → literally "The dress pleases you" → You like the dress. (Kleid = Nom. subject, dir = Dat.)
• Die Musik gefällt mir. → I like the music. (Musik = Nom. subject, mir = Dat.)
• Was für ein Kleid gefällt dir? → What type of dress do you like? (the dress stays the grammatical Nominativ subject; dir is Dativ)

gehören — to belong to

• Der Stift gehört dir. → The pen belongs to you. (Stift = Nom. subject, dir = Dat.)
• Was für ein Stift gehört dir? → What type of pen belongs to you?
• gehören can optionally be used with zu (e.g. gehört zu dir) without changing the meaning — zu is itself a dative preposition, so it has no grammatical impact either way.

weh tun — to hurt / to ache

• Mein Kopf tut mir weh. → My head hurts. (literally "my head is doing pain to me." Kopf = Nom. subject, mir = Dat.)
• Meine Beine tun mir weh. → My legs hurt. (plural subject → verb agrees: tun, not tut)
• Wenn das Bein Sam wehtut, ... → If Sam's leg hurts, ... — Sam functions as a dative object here (replaceable by ihm), not as the subject, even though it is a person's name.
• ⚠️ Common mistake to avoid: never say Mein Kopf tut mich weh — the affected person is always Dativ (mir), never Akkusativ (mich), with weh tun.
• A genitive-style possessive (e.g. "Sam's leg...") is understandable but weh tun always prefers the dative construction — that is the standard, correct form.
• Less formal alternative covering the same idea: Ich habe Kopfschmerzen. → I have a headache — simpler A1/A2-level phrasing for the same situation as der Kopf tut mir weh.

(Spaß) machen / gut gehen — and other dative-object verbs

• Kochen macht Henning Spaß. → Cooking is fun for Henning. (lit. "Cooking makes fun to/for Henning.") Henning is not the subject, even though it is a person's name — the meaning is "fun happens to Henning," so it is dative.
  • Test sentence: Mir macht das Spaß. → It's fun for me. Mir, not mich, because the fun happens to the person (dative), not directly to an object being acted upon (accusative).
• Abwaschen macht ihm nicht Spaß. → Washing up is not fun for him.
• Es geht mir gut. → I'm doing fine / It's going well for me. Same dative logic: mir, not a nominative "I am."
• helfen is also a dative verb, but it does not reverse normal subject-first word order — the "quirky subject" pattern of gefallen/gehören/weh tun/Spaß machen is about which noun is semantically the subject, not about word order. Compare: Hilft Max ihr? (Is Max helping her?) — Max is the ordinary subject here; ihr is simply the dative object that helfen requires.

Quick reference: identifying the pattern

1. Find the noun/activity that is literally doing the pleasing/belonging/hurting/being-fun — that is the Nominativ subject, regardless of whether it is a person, object, or nominalized verb.
2. The person who is affected, who experiences the feeling, or to whom something belongs is the Dativ object — translate the English subject pronoun ("I like...", "he likes...") into a German dative pronoun (mir, ihm...), not a nominative one.
3. Never translate these sentences word-for-word from English subject-verb-object order — German flips the roles.

Source Videos

• video-01-notes.md — introduces dative quirky-subject verbs (gefallen, gehören, weh tun) and the subject-identification technique.
• video-03-notes.md — sometimes-reflexive vs. always-reflexive verbs (the (sich) treffen distinction).
• video-06-notes.md — dative quirky-subject verbs in the Nominalisierung context (Spaß machen, es geht gut), with the "subject can never be a prepositional/dative object" reasoning.
• video-08-notes.md — the body-part exception (definite article instead of possessive with reflexive verbs).
• video-18-notes.md — reflexive verbs in Konjunktiv II (sich entscheiden, sich entspannen) and a dedicated treatment of weh tun as a dative quirky-subject verb.
• video-33-notes.md — the full A2 accusative and B1 dative reflexive pronoun tables, the ignore-prepositional-objects rule, and the body-part exception in detail.